Irish eyes may be smiling, but watch your fingers. Irish teeth are bared as the winner-takes-all race to wear the coveted Grand Leprechaun hat in Saturday’s 23rd Annual St. Patrick’s Day Parade and Celebration snaps and snarls its way to the finish line.

Promptly at noon on Friday, exactly 24 hours before the legendary parade kicks off from Diamond Park en route to the Downtown Mall, the counting will begin at a top-secret location that masquerades as the conference room at Northwest Savings Bank’s South Main Street office when not on undercover assignment.

As the race roars into its third exhausting week, you absolutely cannot make this stuff up. Museums in Philadelphia have recently gone head-to-head over who gets exhibiting rights to the stuffed head of Gen. George (no relation) Meade’s late horse — but their legal battle over Old Baldy is downright minor league next to what’s going on in the streets of Meadville over the right to wear a certain highly-desired chapeaux.

“They ought to just all say, ‘Give it to Jim. He’s got it,’” top-ranked contender Jim Duratz said late Monday afternoon.

The five other combatants, however, aren’t giving up quite that easily.

“It looks like I’m going to have to dye my hair green,” said Doug Smith, an orthodontist by day who had a firm grasp on second place as of approximately 1:37:19 p.m. Friday. “I made a promise to those who donated that I’ll do that. On Thursday, I’ll have green hair — it will be green for the parade.”

Connie Youngblood is keeping her cards close to her chest — and her votes in her office. “I’ve got a couple of secret weapons up my sleeve,” she whispered conspiratorially following PENNCREST School Board’s Monday night work session. Not only is a festive luncheon with an Irish theme in the offing, but no one knows how much the district’s assistant superintendent — who will take over as superintendent July 1 — has collected on her home turf, since she hasn’t brought in any of her district votes to be counted. As for Smith’s green-tinged pledge, “Some people will stoop to anything,” she sniffed.

“Bring ’em on. I’m ready for more,” candidate Rosanne Rust said when notified of her fourth-place position. Not hesitating to bring innocent children onto the battlefield, “I have the spirit of Seton School in my corner,” she bragged, noting that the boy’s jazz band has agreed to play in the parade (at the very same time they’re marching!) at her behest.

Looking a bit bloody but trash-talking in a thoroughly unbowed manner, Meadville Central firefighter Chris Gillingham isn’t giving up without a fight. “I’m talking to as many people as I can,” he said defensively. “People need to support our troops.”

Jennifer Murphy described the response so far to her campaign as “positive,” but quickly went on to explain that her campaign’s big push begins today. The curious should stop in at Tattered Corners Used Book Store on Chestnut Street for a glimpse at what its owner has up her sleeve.”

Duratz isn’t worried. “We’re doing great,” he said with a chuckle. “It’s kind of fun — and we’re not done yet.”

As for Wilford, the official woodchuck of Woodcock Creek Nature Center, his write-in campaign is coming along quite nicely, his official people said during a recent in-depth interview. Always eager to help with the center’s education programs, he’s looking forward to making more than an in-kind contribution to this year’s efforts.

And at Mickey’s Central Fire Station Restaurant & Lounge and Mardi Gras Bar & Grill, denizens are quietly accumulating write-in ballots — and smiling smugly.



Grand Leprechaun ballots and ballot boxes are at these official locations. All votes must be cast no later than noon Friday.



Meadville

The Body Firm, 272 Chestnut St.

The Creative Crust, 217 Chestnut St.

Julian’s Bar & Grill, 299 Chestnut St.

Mardi Gras Bar & Grill, 945 Market St.

Meadville Market House, 910 Market St.

Meadville Town Tavern, 297 Chestnut St.

The Meadville Tribune, 947 Federal Court

Mickey’s Central Fire Station Restaurant & Lounge, 875 Park Ave.

Douglas Smith DMD, MDS, 201 Arch St.

Tattered Corners Used Book Store, 247 Chestnut St.



Vernon Township

Yolanda G. Barco Oncology Institute, 16792 Conneaut Lake Road

Malady’s Meat Market, 19043 Park Avenue Plaza

Montana Rib & Chop House, 11142 Highline Drive



Woodcock Township

Woodcock Creek Nature Center, 21742 German Road



Mary Spicer can be reached at 724-6370 or by e-mail at mspicer@meadvilletribune.com.