Our Health
DAY 12: Breast Cancer Journal
Did I ever tell you waiting rooms suck?
The anticipation of what lies ahead and seeing it sitting right there beside me is disconcerting.
I see people that have just been diagnosed, those that are in the midst of their treatment, those waiting for the start of their chemo, those that have just had surgery, those that have a recurrence and those that are here for their normal checks for THE REST OF THEIR LIVES.
What is normal about any of that?
I don’t deny that we have a common thread but that doesn’t mean I want to live, feel, see, and smell it all over and over again.
The faces of optimisim, fear, confidence and acceptance as well as denial and, yes, even joy - they are all looking at each other and determining where to draw the lines.
I bring an I pod ( whatever the device was called to listen toback then), a book, a sudoku, candy, popcorn(my mainstay in all storms) lip balm, a pen, a blank notebook that haunts me for lack of words, and hidden in the bottom, a cross.
Yes, a cross.
I am a believer.
I have faith, I am not angry or distraught, just lost - I pray.
In my life I have learned to make wishes, carry a lucky penny, avoid black cats and going under ladders and I do a lot of inner talk.
There are people all around but no one really sees or hears me, I am haunted by myself and my own thoughts. Everyone is loving and caring but, I am alone.
This is the most alone I have ever been but really the first time I am really defined.
I am Cancer.
Cancer defines me, my every moment, my every thought and directs my daily activities.
I have needs and emotions and support, and a sea of do-gooders who just don’t know what to say or do. A hug cures more than chemo, Hug me!
I am laughing, I am always laughing it is my rock. I look to humor as my biggest support and it does not fail me.
I enjoy sharing my humor with others and turning their dark to light when possible.
What happens when the cancer is gone, is there a me left?
What is my definition then?
Ah yes, my humor, yup- it is still there. Funny, I thought I misplaced it for awhile.
- Our Health
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- LOCAL COLUMN: Want to lose weight in 2010? EAT MORE
- LOCAL COLUMN: Paying for cancer
- Find balance this holiday season
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November is Diabetes Month
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DAY 31: Breast Cancer Journal
Final personal thoughts by Sue Kilburn, whose Breast Cancer Journal ran each day this month.
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DAY 30: Breast Cancer Journal
Life will never feel or look the same. I often talk to patients that have cancer at various stages: just diagnosed, in the midst of treatment, returning for follow-up, recurrence. There is an overriding theme for all of us: The journey is never over!
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DAY 29: Breast Cancer Journal
Life will never be the same
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AUDIO SLIDESHOW: Surviving Breast Cancer
Sue Kilburn of Meadville was diagnosed in 2005 with Breast Cancer. A lumpectomy, chemotherapy and radiation was the treatment dor her and approaching five years later, she is still cancer - free. Kilburn has shared her story here and will each day this month with a short story on her life with and after cancer. See that story in the Our health section of our website.
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DAY 28: Breast Cancer Journal
Well, I have been in my new position for two months now and for everything I start I expand on and develop 10 more areas that I want to work with, for and learn.
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DAY 27: Breast Cancer Journal
Once I was a listener and now I am involved.
- More Our Health Headlines
