DAY 15: Breast Cancer Journal

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October 14, 2009

Anonymous The Meadville Tribune Wed Oct 14, 2009, 07:06 PM EDT

Graduation

Big night in the ole town tonight, my daughter graduates from high school.

My little peanut has grown up, and especially in the last couple months since I was diagnosed. She has been attentive, caring, helpful and sometimes just too much of a mother that I could scream.

She helped, she listened, she held and then she pushed.

I was not so receptive of the pushing.

Here, Mom — drink the water! Here, Mom — eat this! Here, Mom — take the medicine!

I didn’t have the energy to not comply, but tonight is her night.

Our standard practice is to cram as many parents, grandparents, relatives and friends into our gymnasium and of course it has to be the hottest night in June.

Bingo it is, I am sweating standing up.

I look in my closet and go for the least amount of material that is available, and of course it is a halter dress that further accentuates that I am totally lopsided so I figure it’s best to put big earrings on and draw attention up instead of down.

So far, it isn’t doing the trick, so out comes the wig as I don’t want to take away from Courtney’s night or have a shift of attention to me.

I have done the deed, the dead animal is on my head and I am exhausted.

Smile on and head up — we are going to graduation, if I don’t pass out first.

To be honest with you, I don’t believe that the wig made it to the door on the way out of our house.

I apologized to Courtney and stated I just couldn’t do it.

I can’t wear the wig and be in that hot gym with all those people.

We both look in the mirror in the car and sit and laugh.

It is only hair, and it is decided that bald is beautiful and it will be really easy for her to pick us out in the crowd as there will be two bald heads sitting together, her dad and mom.

This was one of those nights where the back of my knees sweat. But we made it and with loads of smiles to spare.

I can’t say that I wasn’t noticed and that the experience left me exhausted but we all know that kind of good exhausted and a job well done.

I look with pride at the beautiful woman she has become and wonder how she survived my parenting skills.

She is my girl, my only girl, and I long for the day I can see her as a mother.

She is persistant and stubborn (all traits she got from her mothe), and strong and compassionate and full of fun.

I am so proud and privileged as I have been blessed with a great family, a wonderful husband, great friends and — P.S.: I am not Donna Reed or Martha Stewart.

So I won’t apologize for my shortcomings but will take credit for all the good things that have come from having a great family.

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DAY 15: Breast Cancer Journal

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