DAY 30: Breast Cancer Journal

Our Health

Discussion

October 30, 2009

Anonymous The Meadville Tribune Fri Oct 30, 2009, 01:31 PM EDT

Life will never feel or look the same. I often talk to patients that have cancer at various stages: just diagnosed, in the midst of treatment, returning for follow-up, recurrence. There is an overriding theme for all of us:

The journey is never over!

Today is good and I take each moment ... but how to deal with the unknown.

Life is for living but is also for dying. The gift is how we use it.

I see people who face diversity with such fortitude and determination and with such grace. Then I see others who fall to the sidelines and let the cancer take over and dominate each moment.

Do I have a key on what or how or who?

No, not me.

Today I deal with the good and the bad that life deals us. I have lost many family members in my lifetime and quite a few to cancer, but I have also seen many births and marriages and anniversaries and new beginnings.

Have you ever really noticed when someone asks you how you are today, that they really aren’t listening and really don’t want to know?

I sometimes interject some crazy response as much to see the outcome as to get a laugh. I am merciless to telemarketers and taunt them with, “once I get out of bankruptcy I would like to order a million,” or “I am sorry she died last week,” or I just leave the phone off the hook after saying “I will go get them.”

I regret that I don’t often take the time to listen to that still, small voice, but when I am in need, I will talk and pray endlessly.

I have grown ever increasingly frustrated by politics and attitudes and feel overwhelmed with where our country is at this point in time in all venues.

For me, I can only work on my corner of the world, and my world has changed.

I still get stressed, I still like chocolate, I still treasure family and friends, I still laugh a lot and I still don’t sleep well, but I do reflect and readjust and reaffirm that each day is mine to do with what I can.

Hot flashes may come and go, gravity is doing its best, the crow’s feet have become a flock and cellulite has overcome and won, but this is me, inside out and outside and I am in a darn good spot in my life.

Even though things have changed, I am the best that I can be today.