Aug. 24, 2010 7:00 a.m. — The Pirates have been the butt of a lot of jokes the last 18 years. Sunday, they gave everyone another reason to put them in that same spot again.

They clinched their 18th consecutive losing season this year earlier than any other time in the previous 17 seasons. But this fiasco is more subtle than wins and losses or some of the gems from the past.

If this team could produce wins with the magnitude and frequency of its PR mistakes, they would be considered a dynasty. Just since 2002, here are some of the lowlights: they raised ticket prices after a 100-loss season, had a bobblehead night for a pitcher with 16 career wins (in a buy-one, get-one free gaffe the bobblehead also had Tom Gorzelanny giving the one-finger salute on his glove hand) and had free-swinging first baseman Randall Simon get arrested for clubbing a sausage in Milwaukee. In 2008, current owner Bob Nutting described the Pirates front office as “the single best management team in all of baseball, maybe all of sports” and this year, not to be outdone in the hyperbole department, team president Frank Coonelly said “2010 is the beginning of the next dynasty of the Pirates.” In 2006, Pittsburgh native Michael Keaton was invited to throw the first pitch at the Pirates home opener. Just before throwing the pitch Beetlejuice ripped the Pirates ownership and said fans had been too tolerant of the team’s losing. And the most recent gaffe — the Pirates failed to disclose they had extended manager John Russell and general manager Neal Huntington’s contracts during the winter because they were afraid of the public backlash.

So how do the crisis management experts at the Pirates handle the news the Associated Press had gotten its hands on and was working on a story that showed the team had made nearly $30 million in 2007 and 2008 (they won 135 of 324 games during that time).

They invited four local media outlets to a press conference to address what they felt was going to be a story that misrepresented the Pirates financial situation.

“The presumed implication that anyone in the ownership group is lining their pockets is inappropriate,” Nutting told the four media outlets.

Hard to figure how anyone would come to that conclusion about a team that had $30 million in profits and consistently had one of the lowest payrolls in baseball.

The Associated Press, the one agency with a national reach and the one working the story was not invited to the press conference. The AP story was picked up by newspapers and every national sports outlet and website all over the country with no Pirate response, further making the Pirates look ridiculous.

The Pirates are a Major League Baseball club in the same way Aquaman is a superhero. He has the uniform and is invited to the all the Super Friends events. But if you were about to be captured by the Legion of Doom, who would you rather have come to your rescue Superman or Aquaman? The Pirates have the uniforms and are invited to all the Major League Baseball regular season events (even Mike Williams with a 1-3 record and 6.44 ERA at the all-star break was the Pirates all-star representative in 2003). But when you plunk down $40 for a ticket, who would you rather watch the Pirates or the Yankees?

I don’t fault the Pirates for making a profit. The people on the Pirates board are entitled to that, but what they are not entitled to do is lie about what they are doing (they say the 2009 salary purge of Jack Wilson, Adam LaRoche and Freddy Sanchez had nothing to do with money, coincidentally the trades helped them save $7.3 million). They are not entitled to pretend the reason the Pirates can’t compete is because they are a small market team (don’t pay attention to the Cincinnati Reds, who with a payroll that is 19th among Major League teams leads the National League Central Division and another low-payroll team — the Tampa Bay Rays — is in a nip-and-tuck battle with the free-spending New York Yankees).

Nutting said during Sunday’s press conference he hears all the criticism the Pirates are sacrificing wins for profit. It’s unfortunate that Nutting admits hearing it, but passed on a chance to make a significant statement that shows otherwise. Coonelly and the organization point to the signing of heralded rookie Pedro Alvarez, the drafting of pitchers Jameson Taillon (a franchise record $6.5 million bonus) Stetson Allie ($2.25 million) and 16-year-old standout Luis Herdia ($2.65 million, a franchise record bonus for an international player) and the $5 million baseball academy in the Dominican Republic, the $2 million in improvements to the Pirates spring training facility and another $2 million to buy a minor league team as signs the team is doing things right, now, finally.

But after previous five-year plans, a team that has proven profitable despite collecting losses the way Bill Gates collects $100 bills, and an ownership group that has shown disdain for the fans, I guess I’m just a little cynical.